Wednesday, October 24, 2012

October 24th- Rollercoaster continues

So after going to a wedding for my cousin this last weekend and having relatives I barely know tell me how much they love this blog... I apologize for taking so long to update!!! It blows my mind how many people really actually read this! I love it because its like a journal to vent all my feelings but I really didn't think people would read it after the first couple days, but I am always getting compliments on it! So thank you to all of you! If so many of you weren't reading we wouldn't have half the prayers we have and who knows where we would be! Above all that is what we are most grateful for and all we can truly ask for!

Now, for what you have all been waiting for... the girls! Anabell has had a good week and not a whole lot to update. My little 3 pounder is getting really close to 5 pounds and has the cutest little chubby cheeks and thighs! She is also not much for a girly girl, she is not shy about filling her diaper to capacity and farting whenever the mood strikes! It would be disgusting if we weren't so grateful to know she is pooping and all we asked for the first 2 weeks of their lives! She is getting too smart for her own good! We were trying to leave the other night and she was sucking on her pacifier, then as soon as we would start to walk away she would spit it out and whimper so we had to come back and put it back in her mouth and reassure her we would be back the next day. Go to walk away and repeat. After I fell for it a good 5 times Jim went to say goodbye and totally got suckered into it too! She is just too cute!!

Of course, Isabell is a cute little munchkin too!! She hit 3 pounds today which was huge and pretty exciting for us!! I'm not sure if I wrote about this yet or not, but last week the doctors came through and were telling me how they weren't taking her off the nasal cannula until she hit certain criteria. Well that evening I was going to do kangaroo care and we went to take her onesie off and had to disconnect the cannula and her nurse dropped it on the floor. So while she was cleaning it up and getting a new one Isabell sat at 100% oxygen saturation and her nurse decided to leave it off!! She did wonderful breathing without any help all week! On Sunday they would have been 34 weeks gestation and their oxygen saturation requirements changed from 85-100% to 90-100% and she struggled once in awhile but was able to maintain. Meanwhile she has been having some tummy troubles and they are suspecting reflux but haven't treated it yet and are just watching it, but between that and upping her requirements she hasn't been able to meet them and went back on the nasal cannula today. It has been a really rough couple days watching your little girl be uncomfortable all the time and then get that put back on and be mad about that. She just looks at me with the saddest eyes all the time and it breaks your heart! Hopefully it was just a temporary thing and she will be back off very soon! I don't know how long I can handle watching those sad eyes!

Both girls have been working on breastfeeding but not very successful. For the most part I feel like it is my fault because I have such a slow let down they are asleep before they are able to get anything, but they definitely sit there sucking away. Saturday was their 1 month birthday and they both went to town and actually got some milk and we all got all excited! A little early though because we haven't gotten anything since but have a bunch of extra work now. We have to weigh them before and after each feeding which is just pointless since they aren't getting anything anyways. So frustrating! I'm starting to feel like a failure again, but at the same time I just hate that we can't even try a bottle til 35 weeks. I have plenty of breastmilk laying around and I'm willing to bet they would take the bottle just fine and we could think about going home in the near future! Instead we are going through this agonizing process of breastfeeding that just upsets all 3 of us and Isabell won't even try sucking anymore. They both just get mad and push away from me and I just get frustrated that I can't do it and get them home! Someone better give me a really good pep talk real soon or I'm completely calling it quits and they can bite me! The nurse today tried but she didn't have any advice on how to fix it so it wasn't quite good enough!

Some good and bad nurse stories for the week... Bad first... we had a nurse the last couple days that is a complete moron but pushed me too far yesterday. As soon as we get a nurse I actually know and can talk to about the situation she will not be near our girls again! Or if she works again and tries to be near them I'm putting an end to it there despite who is working. She is annoying and in our face all the time about stupid crap we are obviously doing... If we are giving a bath and ask for a warm blanket, obviously we know the importance of keeping our babies warm and don't need a 20 minute lecture after on it! That stuff is just annoying, but my final straw was when Anabell pulled her feeding tube out of her nose. When she replaced it she went from a baby that I don't know why but is in isolation and they have to gown up to touch anything in her corner to Anabell without washing her hands or even using hand sanitizer. Then proceeded to put a glove on one hand but never touched the new tube with that hand, touched the whole thing including the part that goes down my babies nose and throat with her bare hand! Plus the tape they use to hold in place she had to use 2 pieces of because she couldn't do it right and covered half of Anabell's face with tape, she stuck the tape on Anabell's very unsanitized crib bars before putting it on her face and never measured the tube to be sure it was going in the right length. When she took the old tape off she used a regular wipe and then wiped a bunch of eye boogers out of Anabell's eye with it! They have special dry wipes you dip in special water for stuff like that you moron! No wonder her eye keeps boogering over! Grr!! It was a disaster and it took all I had not to backhand her. (Sarah, if you read this, it was the same stupid lady you were so upset about on Monday!)

On the funny side... So we had 2 primary nurses that we like both of them. Penny is a complete doll and we adore her and Benish is wonderful with the girls just more professional than personable, which we can totally appreciate also. Benish was the girls first primary nurse and has taken that title very seriously. A couple times her and Penny have both worked and Penny was with the girls and Benish gets upset and then apologizes to us like we are getting screwed being stuck with Penny. Then Saturday night their nurse was this girl named Rachel who is also a complete doll and I hear Benish come in and asked Rachel if she was going to another nursery so she could work with her primaries. Rachel said no because her primary was in our nursery and Benish got kind of huffy about if they work the same schedule they are always going to be butting heads and she will never get to work with her primaries. Rachel took it very well and was trying to be nice but it was pretty awkward. Well I didn't notice it Sunday but on Monday I realized Rachel added herself to our list of primaries!! It was hilarious! I can totally understand where Benish is coming from but she has had similar conversations with Penny and can get really snotty about it, so it was the best sideways F U I've ever seen! "If I can't work with the girls because I'm not their primary, then fine, I will be their primary!" Now if it would have been the nurse I never want near the girls again that did it I would be freaking out right now, but being we really like Rachel too, its ok!

Anyways, I think that is the gist of what's been going on? Hope everyone is having a good week and the Vikings win tomorrow! I have plans to spend the morning with the girls instead of the afternoon/evening so I can A.) get a break from breastfeeding before I burn out and B.) watch the game of course!! oh and C.) miss crappy traffic! Hopefully I can get another update sooner than this last time, but in the meantime, keep up the prayers and God bless!!

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell and Isabell

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