August 30th- Always something!

Apparently this time around I am not very good at keeping up with this blogging thing! Sorry! I had a rough ultrasound yesterday morning. Not so much that there were problems, but the ultrasound tech was a jerk. Apparently I have problems with people lately! She kept telling me to hold my breath then would jam the thing into me and I would jump because it hurt so bad and she would get mad at me for breathing! What did she think I would do?! I asked at the end of the ultrasound how the dopplers were and she said Baby B's were still elevated and I asked if they were better or worse than the day before and her response was "Miracles don't happen, these things only get worse, they don't get better." Excuse me!? If that were the case I wouldn't have gone home for a week lady! We had group yesterday and I brought it up. Peggy, the social worker up here told my MFM doctor of the week and he told the ultrasound supervisor who came and talked to me this morning. I was impressed how quickly it was addressed and am glad they didn't make me feel like an overemotional pregnant lady, which I was starting to question! So with the ultrasound being pretty much the same and not any worse they are going to try going back to every other day ultrasounds instead of daily.

Other than that yesterday wasn't too exciting. It was nice to go to group and see that there are still some familiar faces! We talked about some ideas to keep us busy while we're stuck here but I haven't really been in the crafty mood. I do have a really exciting plan for when I get out of here and probably won't finish til the girl's wedding day if I'm lucky, but I'm still going to give it a try!... With the probably 50+ ultrasounds I've now had I want to make each girl their own quilt with their ultrasound pictures. I have no idea how to get the pictures onto fabric or how to quilt even but I think it will be kinda cool.

Last night got a little more exciting... around 8 or 9 I started getting a pain in my left side that kept getting worse and worse. Not positive but we're thinking I have a stupid kidney stone. For those that don't know, I get more kidney stones than I get new underwear! I actually just had like 5 or more blasted in February. Not to mention the 7 I had blasted 2 years before that and the couple I actually passed inbetween. So fun! They are totally my own stupid fault though. I know peanuts and spinach are my biggest culprits, but sometimes I just space it out. I was craving peanut butter the last week and Jim got me Perkins Peanut Butter Silk Pie (AMAZING!) and I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like 4 meals in a row! It never even crossed my mind, I was just a pregnant woman with a craving! Grr! So I got some Tylenol and a hot pack and was up most the night trying to guzzle water and going to the bathroom because I didn't want to sleep with an IV in. If it gets any worse I move on up to a morphine drip! Probably wouldn't be so bad if it just made me sleep all day, but I figure I would say a lot of stupid things and make an idiot of myself and I'm more of a social druggy! Nobody wants to be the only messed up person getting laughed at! Haha!

After being up all night I really just wanted to sleep all day today, but nobody wanted to let me do that! Everytime I fell asleep somebody would walk in! My nurse in particular seemed worried about my trying to sleep the day away, like I had so many better things to attend to! I don't think it really matters if I take a shower at 9am or 5pm, nobody I care about smelling good for shows up til after 5! They did send in a lady to do an integrative therapy?? I'm not really sure what she was doing, she kinda talked about western medicine and a holistic approach and I figured why not? So I laid in bed with the lights out and she barely even touched me, more shook her hands at me and waved her arms over me. I would have laughed if I wasn't so sore and just hoping it would work. Well next thing I knew I woke up with drool all over my face!! I wouldn't say the pain is gone, but it did seem to help. It was very surreal, but I'm not judging, it was free and if it works it works!

Other than that, kind of a lonely day. Jim went to the apartment after work to finish getting it packed up, we have to be out by tomorrow. I want to be sad, I mean it wasn't the worst apartment in the world, and the first time I was actually out of my parents house for any length of time, but living above a pet store is a HORRIBLE idea! Especially that one! They were gross and the whole building stinks! My clothes make me sick in the hospital because I smell just how bad it is all day. Our landlords were great and very sweet people, but that pet store ruined everything! We thought they were getting better because at first they had a giant plastic tub they kept by the stairs full of all the bunny/mice/guinea pig type animal droppings which was disgusting. That finally went away but I swear instead they just quit cleaning their cages in general or something! Oh well, not our problem anymore! Live and learn!

That's all the excitement I have, hope you're all having a good week and ready for the holiday weekend! God bless!

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell and Isabell

August 28th- Could be worse!

So we got some good news today! The doctors are going to temporarily quit monitoring me so closely for the preeclampsia, they are almost positive that is not a concern right now. My blood pressure has dropped significantly, no swelling, no pain, and with the last urine protein test coming back so low they are going to lighten up! Yay, maybe some holes in my arms can heal! Good thing I don't have problems with needles!

The ultrasound was ok, there were some elevations in Baby B's umbilical chord doppler today which was a little strange. According to the tech you usually see that, then you see the gaps which is what we usually see, then you see reversals, where it drops below the base line. It sounds a little weird to me we see the absents then backtrack to the elevations, but the doctor said everything still looked stable. Baby A had good dopplers and no big problems.

The doctors this morning were pretty sure since I was readmitted a second time for the same problem and it hasn't really gone away, I probably won't be going home until I deliver. Hopefully that isn't for another 10 weeks, but it will suck if I have to stay here for that long!! Oh well, just taking it one day at a time right now!

I have been dying for state fair food, let's be real all those amazing foods have to be a pregnant woman's fantasy! Well I can't go obviously, but my friend Amanda went on Sunday and picked me up a bucket of Sweet Martha Cookies and dropped them off yesterday!! Between me and Jim the bucket is already half gone!! Yum yum!! Not quite as good as warm and fresh, but it's cookies! Cookies are always good!

I got a call from my pastor at Immanuel this morning and realized in the hustle bustle of going home and appointments pretty much everyday, I forgot to give him a heads up we went home for a week! I felt horrible, but luckily he didn't try coming down here to check on us! Sometimes it's hard to remember who you have talked to and who you still need to tell!

My mom is going to stop by tonight, which will be nice since Jim went home for a couple hours to try to get the rest of our stuff packed up. We have until Friday to get everything moved out and I'm a little nervous since obviously I haven't been there to see how much progress has been made! Sometimes it's really hard giving up control! I trust Jim and don't know what I would have done at this point in my life without him, but this has turned into quite the test of my trust!

So I got it in my head today I want to start getting books for my babies, of all the things I should be stocking up on you wouldn't think that would be on the top of my list! Well it might have to backtrack! I really want like sets of Dr. Seuss books and the classic Disney stories, but not as easy as I hoped! Definitely not as cheap as I hoped either!! Anyone have any good places to find them though let me know please!

Well my dinner and mom should be here soon, so I should probably make some room! Take care and God bless!!

Love Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 27th- Playing catch up! Sorry!

I have fallen WAY behind on here, sorry! Last Wednesday I had a growth ultrasound at the U of M. Baby A weighed 1lb 13oz and was exactly 25 weeks 5 days, which is where we are. She is starting to fall behind, she was always a week ahead, but the doctors didn't seem to concerned at this point. Baby B weighed 1lb 4oz. and is still about a week and a half behind. But she closed the gap a little, their percentage of weigh difference went down which the doctor said is very rare at this point. So that's great news! All their dopplers were normal and things looked pretty good!

Friday we had a doppler ultrasound at Fairview Ridges which didn't go as well. Baby A decided to have abnormal dopplers now. The ultrasound tech kept apologizing because she was pretty sure Baby A was laying on her umbilical chord or something goofy, not anything serious. But she had to report it to the doctor who kindly readmitted us to the U of M Children's Amplatz again! :s

I also had another 24 hour urine collection Thursday and dropped it off Friday on my way to Ridges. It came back better than it's been! My first 2 were at 0.5 and the last one while I was in the hospital was 0.7. Friday's was 0.4! Remember preeclampsia range is 0.3-5.0 so we are almost out of the preeclampsia range completely! Very exciting!

When I was readmitted to the hospital I went straight to the nurse's desk in the antepartum unit where there was a nurse, Carol, that I only had one time but immediately recognized me. She asked what I was doing there and I told her I needed to check in and this annoying resident doctor that was sitting there said she knew nothing about it. Duh, the doctor at Ridges said he talked to Dr. Prosen! Then she got all snippy and Carol was like we are full so I will just take you to labor and delivery, they would know where you belong!  I was like oh thank you! Then when we got to labor and delivery she said Heather Enyart is here to check in and I was kinda shocked that I only had her once, a week and a half before, and she totally remembered who I was! I ended up stuck in labor and delivery until Saturday night, in a bed that was literally like a foot and a half too short for me and uncomfortable as can be! It was horrible! I never thought me at 5ft 2 3/4in would be too short for ANY bed! lol!

The nurses in labor and delivery pushed me over the top right off the bat! For whatever reason my least favorite part of being in the hospital is they hook me up to these baby monitors for an hour at a time to monitor their heartbeats. When I was here before, of that hour, they were looking for 10-20 minutes of the babies actually being on the monitors. They are still pretty small and like to kick and hide so its next to impossible to get them any longer. Well labor and delivery nurses put you on for an hour but actually want an hour of them on the monitors!! So the first time they hooked me up it took 3 hours! The nurse kept finding the baby then she would kick but come back on, but when she kicked the nurse thought she hadn't found her and moved the monitor thing, so it took her half an hour just to find them each time! She was an idiot! Finally I took the monitors and found them myself! After the first hour I was so pissed I made her take it off. Then she found the snippy resident doctor who said we needed 10 more minutes! Grr! So she comes back and can't find the babies at all again and calls in another doctor to find them on the ultrasound. As soon as the doctor leaves the nurse lost them again! After an hour, I made her take it off again before I smacked her. Then she had the nerve to come back and say we still needed more time!!! I was so mad, I text Jim and told him he better get there before I walked out and kicked some butt on the way!! Finally after the 3 hours the nurse got the hint she better not come back!! Not to mention when I was here last time if they knew I just had an ultrasound, or had one coming up they weren't too concerned about keeping them on there because obviously they had 2 separate heartbeats, but not over there!

It's nice being back in the antepartum unit! But it's crazy how much has changed! Rumor has it that the triplets mom had her babies and they are doing well! I'm not positive but I don't think they could have been over 30 weeks so I'm happy for her things are going well! I miss my old room, it was twice as big, but this room has a bathtub, so its a win some lose some situation. At first I was thinking I am in the other identical twins with doppler problems room, but now that I think about it I think I am in one of the singletons old room. I'm kinda excited to go to group on Wednesday and see who else has come and gone! It's funny how much I didn't want to leave, but now that I'm back you remember all things that were horrible! There is no sleeping past 6am, but then I don't usually get breakfast til 9 or later and by time that rolls around I'm so sick from not eating that long! Plus they always try to give me my blood pressure meds at 8am but I can't eat them on an empty stomach! Then there is the stool softeners! TMI again, but I was pretty good at refusing it last time I was here because I would get stuck spending the day in the bathroom feeling miserable! Well they give it in the morning and night with my blood pressure meds and this time they don't ever ask and next thing I know I just took the stupid pill! Sure enough, stuck in the bathroom! Grr! Ick! :s

On to today... I had my ultrasound in the clinic and guess who wants to be abnormal now?! Back to Baby B! She has been good for a week and a half and NOW she wants to abnormal! Silly baby! Baby A has been normal since the Friday ultrasound of course! So frustrating! The doctor said not any worse than before though, so everything is stable. I got some cool new pictures today! It was nice to have something besides face pictures actually! After watching the dopplers for the last 3 weeks the tech actually gave me a picture of Baby B's abnormal doppler reading. I will try and get them loaded on here later this week. Also they have this thing that kind of senses heat I guess and turns areas red/blue/sometimes yellow. Well she turned it on over their faces and you could see them breathing the amniotic fluid! It was so crazy! Baby A's was blue and Baby B's was red, so she is now our fire breathing dragon instead of our little boxer! It was really cool! She printed the pictures of it for me too, but you don't see the red or blue just a white spot but still really neat! I kinda get into all this stuff after seeing it so many times, sometimes you want some of those other pictures! They did give me a 2nd round of steroid shots starting yesterday and the last dose today. I haven't had a chance to look into it much yet, but I thought originally they could only do 2 rounds, the first one, then if we made it further they could do an emergency dose right before I delivered. But I'm still not delivering anytime soon! When I asked Dr. Prosen she said they just aren't effective after 4 doses, so if I make it to 30 weeks they would probably do another dose. (I'm 26 weeks 1 day today) Plus even though the first dose seemed to work there is no way of knowing for sure if they have the surfactant in their lungs that the steroids interact with to develop the lungs, but it is supposed to be there for sure by 25-26 weeks. Other than that, my blood pressure has actually been better than ever since we were readmitted. I got a kick out of the first one they did when I came in was like 112/55 which is pretty much the lowest it has ever been! Overall we have dropped down to 120-130/50-60s. Nice to see after I was so concerned when I left that I was in the 140-160/50-70s. I laughed though because normal people during their second trimester their blood pressure is supposed to drop and around 26 weeks its supposed to go back up again. Well I've been the complete opposite!

Apparently I'm being talked about by everyone again but better terms than my naughty babies now! Everyone is so impressed that I'm so knowledgeable about what's going on. That half the time I find the babies on the monitors before the nurses do and can keep them on there when they leave the room! That was my big compliment of the morning! The ultrasound tech said the same thing because I noticed the gaps in Baby B before she was even going to say anything to me. She went wow, you already know how to read these huh? I like being informed, it makes things easier if you know everything you can know. Plus you don't have to wait around for someone to talk to you if you know what you're looking for already. Even Dr. Rauk who is my doctor this week wasn't really saying anything about Baby B's dopplers until I brought it up then he kind of stumbled and said well it wasn't any worse things are all stable. Plus there isn't a lot to do beyond looking up Dr. Google and asking a million questions! I appreciate nobody minds answering all my questions though. I don't want to be annoying either. I try to be a good little patient and the only thing I really ask for is water when Jim isn't here! Then I make him do it! Haha!

Anyways, the nurse just came in and is going to hook me up to the monitors soon. So gotta get in the mindset for that so I don't blow my top! You would think it would be reassuring to hear their heartbeats and know they are there and well, but after 2 minutes of laying of my back it's killing me and starts to make me sick. Plus they put the straps on so tight to try to stop them from moving it makes me sick too. Grr!

Hope everyone has enjoyed their Monday! I hope we are still in everyone's prayers, at least occasionally! I figured out today I have 97 days until 40 weeks so I started another countdown. And I want to get as close to that as possible and obviously every prayer works wonders! Thanks! God bless!

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell and Isabell

August 21st- I hate Doctors!

I had my first doctor's appointment to start the many today in Princeton. I think I posted before that for some reason all the doctors in the cities think my doctor is incompetent, nevermind she has gotten me this far in my pregnancy just fine. So I had to see a new doctor today, whom I'm not impressed with and may just go back to my original doctor despite their recommendations. So he asked me for a background on what has been going on and I filled him in. He then went on to say "Well looks like we are just counting down the days now huh? Just remember everyday they are in you counts for something!" Counting down the days?!?!?! I'm still on weeks bub! If I had his attitude and all the stupid doctors I've seen lately I would have delivered 2 weeks ago and would probably be childless! Then he pointed out he would be my doctor and monitor my blood pressure and labs but I shouldn't plan on him delivering the girls because there is no way I will make it long enough that they could stay in Princeton. That if I start having problems I should just beeline for the cities because all Princeton will do is put me on a helicopter for the cities. Again, thanks for nothing! Plus pre-term labor isn't my problem, which would be the only reason I would rush to any hospital like that. I've probably spent 40 hours hooked up to a contraction monitor the last 2 weeks and never once had a contraction!  I asked if by some miracle I make it to 36 weeks I was told I could deliver in Princeton and he wouldn't even answer, because he doesn't think it is possible for me to make it that far! I'm so mad! I get I'm in a serious situation, but if it was that serious that we are counting down days, why would they have sent me home?! Not to mention last I checked their dopplers were fairly normal, and they were thinking I might not have preeclampsia. So what makes them think I'm delivering anyday? Its just so frustrating. I could really use some optimism ya know? I've seen so many medical miracles in my lifetime and not that I expect to be one, but we already are, we made it 2 weeks further than they ever thought we would, and we're just getting started! Give us credit for that much at least!

Anyways, that's about all I have for today, just really disappointed in everyone's outlook. I'm trying to keep my head high but it gets harder and harder, especially when you have everyone else trying to drag you down. I hope we are still in everyone's prayers, we still aren't clear. I appreciate it beyond words, thank you and God bless!

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 20th- Operation sleep the day away!

Today was the first day I was home alone, on bedrest, and no visitors! I was bored out of my mind! No nurses meant no company. No Jim meant making my own lunch, which consisted of a mostly liquid diet since we don't have much for food being we are moving, and I was too scared to stand on my feet for too long to cook anything. So I had some really great cream of broccoli soup and vanilla and chocolate pudding... yum yum!! Not! Haha!

So operation sleep the day away was commenced, and successful! I really didn't do much except watch Grey's Anatomy and sleep. At least yesterday I got to sneak out of the apartment for awhile to go to my parents and get my car. They made us dinner and I hung out on the couch for awhile. It was a nice break from my bed and Grey's Anatomy!

I did have a slight hiccup today, when I realized I didn't know what time my growth ultrasound was on Wednesday. So I called the U of M and they didn't have me scheduled. They called back and said I had been penciled in for 1:30 so lets just make that permanent. Then they called again to let me know I should continue my care at the U of M instead of going back to Ridges for my other ultrasounds, and I needed to check with the care team I see after my ultrasound on Wednesday to find out for sure. First of all Ridges is further away but they have free parking is the only reason I decided to go back there but the doctors that discharged me gave me the choice of where I wanted to go. Either way its the same doctors! They rotate between hospitals, so I really don't see what difference the hospital makes? Plus they are only like half an hour away from each other so if I have to be re-admitted it wouldn't be any different than when I was admitted the first time. Either way, it did take up almost an hour of my day by time I finished getting on and off the phone with them!

The other good news, yesterday was 25 weeks! We weren't going to make it to 23 weeks and here we are! That much is pretty exciting, and what makes the rest of this worth it in the end! All we really want is healthy babies, so whatever it takes to give them a chance!

Hope everyone else had a more exciting Monday than me! God bless!

Love-Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 18th- First day at home done!

Yesterday was the big day! All my labs came back normal, the ultrasound went well and my 24 hour urine was slightly elevated but not enough to keep me in the hospital. So around noon my wonderful husband picked me up and we were homebound! We stopped for lunch and made it home by 2ish. I WAS EXHAUSTED!!! I couldn't believe how much a car ride and going out to lunch would wipe me out! I got home and took a 5 hour nap and went to bed around midnight and slept for another 12 hours! I felt ridiculous, but it just drained everything out of me!

I'm still not happy to have gone home, I talked to the doctors but they assured me I will still be closely monitored and if anything comes up I can always be readmitted. I had a really hard first night having to make Jim do everything for me, being scared for me and the babies, and just everything going on with moving and everything, which ended in me sobbing for a long time. It hasn't been much easier today but Jim's family stopped by to pick up our couch which his brother is taking to college with him which made for a nice distraction. (I'm SO happy to be rid of that awful thing! There are some bright parts today!) Other than that just laying in bed watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. I've decided when I finish that I will watch Bones and by time I finish that hopefully the babies will be here! Need something to pass the time!

As for my follow up... I will be having an ultrasound twice a week at either Fairview Ridges or the U of M Amplatz Children's (which is where I was admitted). I will be doing a growth scan every 2 weeks, starting with this Wednesday. Then I have a weekly appointment with a doctor in Princeton. Not either of the doctors I have been seeing so far in Princeton which makes me a little sad but they are family practitioners and they want me to see an OB. He will be in charge of monitoring my blood pressure. I'm excited for my growth scan this week because it is with Dr. Prosen that was my doctor the first week I was admitted and whom was very adamant that I would be admitted til birth so I'm curious to get her opinion now that I've been discharged by a different doctor. As horrible as it sounds I kind of have my fingers crossed to be readmitted. I felt like there was a lot of pressure during my ultrasound on Friday to get good dopplers for Baby B. The tech kept getting readings and would say that's not a good one I better try again. I almost feel like they were faked and that is definitely not the way someone wants to go home.

 I guess that's the news. Not much, and I'm a little bit of a debbie downer, but that's just where I'm at right now. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend! God bless!

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 16th- frustrating babies!

The babies have been VERY frustrating today! Nothing really bad, but I get hooked up to a heartrate monitor and contraction monitor twice a day. Sometimes I can be on and off in half an hour and sometimes I've been on for an hour to three... Today was an hour each time but only because after an hour we gave up trying to find the second baby. They have been in the same position for the last 2 weeks but today they were all out of whack! I feel bad, but it gets so frustrating because I have to listen to this obnoxious white noise, have to lay on my back which becomes super painful, and you just want them to be there and easy and when it doesn't happen its just hard. This morning we pretty much didn't have any reading. I asked to do the night one around 3:30 because yesterday they were perfect little angels at that time, but it was horrible today. My nurse ended up bringing in another nurse because she couldn't find the second baby and kept picking up the first one all over my belly. If the other nurse couldn't find it they were going to have the doctor do a quick ultrasound just to find out where they were! Finally they got like 10 minutes and the nurse called it quits. Then the doctor said it wasn't long enough and we had to sit through another hour after dinner! Argh!

I started my 24 hour urine this morning, but won't know how that goes till tomorrow afternoon. I did some labs and never heard back from the doctor, but I'm assuming they were fine or they would have said something. Plus we kind of have a big meeting tomorrow to look at all the results and see if I'm going home tomorrow. Still not excited about that. They told me today that my 2 ultrasounds a week can be done in Maple Grove but I have to check with my insurance if they are covered because their maternal fetal medicine part of the hospital is not Fairview. So I decided I will go back to Ridges for my ultrasounds. I really like their Maternal Fetal Medicine center there, its very cozy and modernized and I really like the doctors I have met there so far. Not to mention the doctors are all on rotations between the hospitals so odds are I could come across one of the doctors I've had here or seen there already.

My mom came to visit last night and we talked about moving in with my parents until we can find a house. Sounds like that's the plan. Its nothing against Jim's family but my step-dad is usually home and can bring me to the hospital if anything ever happens. Either way its been a real downer for me and Jim. When we moved out a year ago we didn't think we would ever go back. We just haven't had time to look for something else, it all kind of sneaked up on us. Story of our lives!

I had a lady come in today that does hand and arm massages! It was really nice, but definitely not Amy, my normal masseuse! Pretty sure I will be calling here soon, as long as I can get a massage approved as part of my bedrest!

The chamberlain came in again today and called me out on being a little depressed today. I can't really put my finger on it, but we do have a lot going on. Going home and my issues with that, but not really having a home to go to at this point. Not to mention she was one of those people I instantly connected with and either way tomorrow is her last day so that was a bummer on its own. It has been nice having a fresh face to vent to, who after I get it all out prays with me about everything. It brings closure to my issues without having to solve them, most of which can't be solved. I'm going to miss her a lot, in general, she was just such a good person!

Other than that not much to report. Like I said I've been kinda bummed, but no answers for sure why. Just have to hope and pray for the best. Tomorrow will be a big day and we'll see what they decide. In the meantime, hope you all have a good night and God bless!

Love-Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 15th

Had our ultrasound this morning... all good dopplers again!! Still on track for labs and 24 urine tomorrow and home Friday! I know I should be excited, but still not there yet. Jim went to the ultrasound with me this morning and got to see our babies again!

After the ultrasound Jim went to our apartment to start packing things up. I can't imagine what it will look like if I go home on Friday?! I don't know how much he did today or what to expect? Its really stressful being stuck here and knowing I don't really have a home anymore. There is just so much going on its a little overwhelming.

I went to a group with the other moms in the unit today. It was crazy hearing all these women's stories and being like geeze, I'm just fine! There is another twin mom that is living my ultimate nightmare! She is in preterm labor and dilated, enough so that when the doctors check her her Baby A has held the doctors finger multiple times!!! I have this irrational fear about babies like clawing their way out of me and the whole hands and fingers coming out freaks me out more than anything! If I ever hear my doctor is holding hands with my baby still inside me I will be permanently traumatized the rest of my life!!! Ick! Eew eew eew!!! It was really cool actually meeting some of the moms I keep hearing about though. There is a set of triplets next door to me and 2 other sets of twins so lots of people that can relate to the fear of multiples! The nurses keep telling me about the 1 set of twins that are in my exact boat and sure enough she is! She has had some abnormal dopplers with her baby A and possible twin to twin transfusion syndrome also. I don't think she had the preeclampsia problem, but we actually stayed awhile after group talking and comparing stories. I felt kind of bad because I brought up my fears about going home and you could practically see all the mom's mouth drop open and start drooling they were so jealous! They don't really understand how jealous I am that they get to stay here and be monitored all the time and know minute by minute their babies are safe and that you have constant people waiting on you hand and foot and available to answer any and all, no matter how stupid questions anytime day or night! It was so weird being so alike with some of the moms yet so far the opposite side. They even talked a lot about how the first week was so hard and it gets easier after that and all I could think was everyday last week I was grateful to be here another day because it meant I hadn't delivered. I thought last week was great! Like I said they wait on you hand and foot, I have unlimited cold water, someone makes my bed for me, brings me fresh towels daily, scrubs my room daily, if it wasn't for Jim they would do my laundry for me, what's not to like?!

The group kind of put how lucky I am into perspective. Even having Jim here all the time... I'm the only one whose husband spends the night, and spends anytime here at all. A couple of the other mom's have other children so they are lucky if they see their husband an hour a day. I couldn't imagine. I feel bad for Jim's sake he is always here and stuck in that horrible bed, but I didn't realize some people don't even get that option. I couldn't imagine, I don't know what I would have done without Jim here, he is my rock! I'm definitely all the more grateful for him now!

Anyways, kinda slow day otherwise, hope you all had a good day! God bless!

Love-Heather, Jim, Anabell and Isabell

August 14th- Mikey's Birthday!

Today was quite a day all around! It was my nephew Mikey's birthday! I couldn't be at his birthday party on Sunday but Rosie, Joe, Mikey and Mason stopped by so I could spend a little bit of time with Mikey on his actual birthday! I'm really excited for him because Shawn is taking him to Disney World for a week next week which is just awesome! It was great seeing Mason too! I just love that kid! He gets so excited about my babies and always has his hand attached to my belly! I felt bad because I tried eating some M&Ms to get them kicking which usually does the trick, but Mason didn't get to feel anything! It was their lazy time today! Either way it definitely brightened my day seeing my boys!

Along the lines of the babies... no tests or anything exciting today but we have a plan for the week! We are doing another ultrasound tomorrow, labs on Thursday, 24 hour urine Thursday, probably another ultrasound Friday morning and if all is well I will be discharged Friday afternoon! It's kind of frustrating that they change the doctor on the unit weekly. I had Dr. Prosen last week whom was amazing and all the nurses even commented how lucky we were to be here while she was on. She was all about I have preeclampsia, even though my number was so low on the preeclampsia scale they were still going to treat it as preeclampsia,  I was going to be constantly monitored and I was going to be here til delivery. Then this week I have Dr. Nyholm who is all about I'm just fine, even my high blood pressure is good, and just doing whatever she can to get me out the door. Today Dr. Phillips I think was his name came in to say Dr. Nyholm had to go to Maple Grove so he was here today but he will be here starting this weekend so we will get to know each other better then. But I've been under the impression I'm leaving Friday, and he makes it sound like I won't be?!?! I'm so confused! Don't these people talk and make a plan and follow through?! Something? I have no problem being here til delivery like I've said, but I just don't know what to think and if you ask straight out obviously the Dr.'s aren't going to back talk each other or anything. So confusing!

A little bit of TMI but for the first time in my life I have some major acne going on!! Yeah I've had a zit here and there, but nothing like this!! My whole chest is completely broke out and its spread down my belly! I never realized acne was so painful! I have a whole new sympathetic side for the acne boys at work! I asked my nurse who was kind enough to tell me it will go away as soon as I give birth, that if I haven't had the problem before its definitely the hormones from being pregnant! That was good news! Plus she talked to the doctors who hooked me up with some acne cream! I heard girls like to steal your beauty, and it was one of my first clues I was probably having girls, but geeze! I feel like a 16 year old! Haha!

I had quite a few visitors today besides my nephews, don't think I forgot about you!! My friend Beth showed up not long after Rosie, Joe and the boys, and she totally saved the day!! I've been going crazy over these long overdue caterpillar eyebrows and she got me a tweezers! So silly how exciting little things become, but man it was great! I have an eyebrow plucking addiction so hopefully it won't get out of hand with nothing better to do! Either way thanks Beth!! Tonight Jim's cousins Melissa and Angie and his adopted sister (haha family joke) Becky stopped by and we had some good laughs! It was nice to laugh so hard and and have some girl time, even though Jim was hiding in the corner!

Jim and I had another date night of Subway in the courtyard! It would be so much better if the hospital didn't spike the prices on Subway! They don't really tell you how much your total is when you pay and I went online the other night and looked and it was $18 for our 2 meals!! So much for 5...5 dollar...5 dollar foot long!! Ridiculous! But it's nice to just get away from everything and have some time with my husband without worrying about nurses and babies and hospitals and just be us for half an hour.

I think that was most my day? If it wasn't for all the visitors it was definitely a boring day. I watched most the 1st season of Grey's Anatomy since without the Olympics there isn't anything to watch! Its hard because I could totally sleep the day away but the hospital is so worried about people becoming depressed that they are constantly checking on you when you are sleeping because that's a big symptom of depression. The problem is they don't think about how I go to bed at 11 or later but am up at 5 every morning to get hooked up to the baby monitors. Plus I am pregnant...with twins... sleep is good! No go I guess :( Apparently our babies are a hot topic with the nurses at their shift change because they don't like to be on the monitors and are difficult. I am still a believer in its a good thing they are moving all the time but nobody ever seems to agree. I don't really understand why its such a big deal, and I'm still decided how I feel about being a hot topic but not much I can do I guess.

Anyways, off to bed! Goodnight! Hope you all had a great day! God bless!

Love-Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 13th- another good day!

We got to go on another trip through the hospital down to the clinic for our ultrasound today! We actually had 2 days in a row of Baby B having good dopplers!! Baby A has become our little jumping ninja, I guess it doesn't matter if I have breakfast first or not! She was all over the place again, but we ended up getting all her dopplers and they were good as well! I like when we go down to the clinic and get one certain ultrasound tech. After she does all the dopplers and gets what she needs she goes through and finds pictures for us and switches to 3D, which is the creepiest thing I've ever seen yet I can't stop staring when she does it!! Usually it just reminds me of an ink blot test but sometimes you get a good face shot! Way creepy!

After the ultrasound the doctor met with me and said they are going to switch to twice a week ultrasounds instead of daily and see how they do. Then do a couple labs again and probably another protein test at the end of the week. If all goes well I will probably be leaving next week. :( They will still monitor me closely after going home, but all that means is driving to the cities a couple times a week and spending lots of time in doctor's offices and in the car. :( Ick! I guess I will get to sleep in my bed again which might be nice, but I've adjusted well to my hospital bed and kinda like not sleeping flat!

I have had a monster headache since last night that just won't go away! A week ago they were so concerned about me getting a headache and it being a sign of my preeclampsia worsening and having to deliver. But now its no big deal? The doctor even said we won't deliver for a headache, which is great, but it still kinda scares me. I think they put me so on edge last week that everything just scares the crap outa me now! 

We finally talked to our landlord yesterday and let her know we aren't renewing our contract, so we have 2 weeks to get everything packed and moved!! :s Originally we thought we would have a house to move into, but we haven't had much time to look at houses or make any offers with me being on bedrest, then working nights, and then hospitalized! Looks like we are going back to one of our parents for a VERY short period of time, til we find a house! Talk about lots of pressure and stress! We really want our own place by time these babies come, there really isn't room for us and 2 babies either place we go! Plus I want a nursery! I already know exactly what I want and I need a room to put it in!

So that's the gist of our day so far! Hope everyone else is having a good Monday! Everyone loves going back to work Mondays right!? God bless!

Love-Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

A couple ultrasound pictures

After the bunches and bunches of ultrasounds we have had, I thought I would post a couple of the pictures that we either have here from the last week or I had on my phone. We still have a whole stack at home, some of which are better than these, but especially the first couples ones are amazing to see if you've never seen twins via ultrasound! It was only a week or 2 later they were too big to fit in one picture which was amazing to see!
Also a friend of mine, Jess, posted a song on my facebook page that totally hit home and is our new theme song... as soon as I can listen without sobbing! Its a beautiful song but a real tear jerker, hope you enjoy, but thank her! As always, God bless and thank you all for being a part of our journey!
 What It Means To Be Loved

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

Baby A and Baby B... mislabeled at this ultrasound...switch them around

Baby A's face!

Totally Jim's baby! Jim has quite a few pictures with the same "Thinker" pose!

Baby B is usually moving around too much to get a good face shot, so here's the best we got so far!

August 12th- Viability Day!!!

We did it!!! We made it to viability day! Now to 25 weeks! We got this!! Baby B did her bipolar thing this morning and had good dopplers, Baby A's were good, but I ate breakfast before the ultrasound and she goes crazy so it was hard to get her measurements again! Baby B is on an every other day schedule of how her dopplers are going to be.

We got some good news today! The doctor this week decided since my protein levels didn't change at all she is pretty sure I don't have preeclampsia! So they aren't monitoring my input/output anymore and I only have to get my weight done every other day now! Yay! I guess? I'm a little nervous because word was spreading that the unit is full as of today and I'm just nervous I'm in the best shape so they are going to try to ship me out to make room. The nurse even commented that now that I don't have preeclampsia maybe I won't be trapped here anymore... except I want to be here. I like being monitored and knowing me and my babies are safe and taken care of! A week ago I thought I was delivering my babies any minute to now I'm possibly going home? A week doesn't seem long enough to make that drastic a change. Hopefully Baby B's abnormal dopplers will be enough to keep us here. :(

Not too many visitors this weekend. Jim's parents stopped by yesterday and we had a nice visit! While they were here I was given permission to go on 2 wheelchair rides a day, so we went for a walk and found this cute little gazebo thing by the river. Couldn't really see the river through the trees, but still nice to get some fresh air! Then last night me and Jim had a big date night! We got Subway in the hospital and had a picnic outside! Haha! Today we tried going to the chapel service in the hospital but my ultrasound was taking forever with my little fighters going to town, so we ended up missing most of the service. The intern chaplain stopped by this afternoon for a quick chat and to meet Jim which was nice. Then we were going to go get dinner in the cafeteria but I realized their whole menu was my room service menu and I don't get charged for that, so we went to sit outside instead. Unfortunately it decided to rain at that point! But we sat under the eave and actually watched a bunny hopping around in this little garden and a couple birds messing around. Crazy to see so much nature in the middle of the city!

I think I'm going to keep today's a little short for me! I got a headache around dinner that isn't letting up and overall it was a pretty quiet weekend. Hope everyone else had a good weekend! God bless!

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 11th

Good news! My 24 hour urine collection came back the exact same! So if I have preeclampsia it's not worsening at least! Still debatable if it's preeclampsia or hypertension but no way to really know. My kidneys are leaking protein but anyone that knows me knows I've had problems with my kidneys since I graduated from high school! Me and kidney stones are best friends! I've had lithotripsy twice to blast them and maybe it's just wishful thinking but I want to believe that's what's going on.

Unfortunately the ultrasound tech didn't come in until a little later this morning so I had a chance to eat breakfast first... I already have hyperactive babies but trying to get any doppler readings this morning was a miracle! Baby A was extremely active and I think we only got 2 of her readings and gave up. Baby B was back to abnormal readings, but I don't think it was a true reading being she wouldn't sit still long enough! Either way she wasn't worse than before either, so looks like we will make it to viability day tomorrow!! Glad we beat the odds so far and we are just hanging in as long as possible! How great to make our first goal though! Very proud of my little fighters! Next goal 25 weeks! Just taking it one week at a time!

I'm a little nervous that I actually keep losing weight. I've lost 9 pounds since I was admitted. It was great at first because my swelling went down so quick and I figured it was that, but not sure what the deal is now? I definitely haven't been starving, and Jim started getting me something besides hospital food once in awhile, so not sure? 1 of my overnight nurses tells me I'm losing all my muscle mass which I could understand and I'm a little nervous about, but nothing I can do either. Also my blood pressure has been sitting what I thought was a little high the last couple days, 140s/60s but when I asked the doctor this morning she said that is my bodies new normal. They don't want to drop it much lower because my body has adjusted to that blood pressure and it could do more damage adjusting it. I never heard that, my regular ob upped my blood pressure meds everytime I was in the 140s. Just wait it out I guess?

Last night wasn't too eventful. My mom was here for awhile and right before she left I kind of broke down because I thought my blood pressure was too high. She had a hard time leaving after that which made me feel worse, I don't like upsetting her. I've been glad she has been around and so supportive during all this and I just hope she knows how much that means to me. We all had a nice dinner of Jimmy John's and pretty much called it a night.

I did start reading through my Bible and randomly came across a couple neat passages. A friend of mine had liked something on facebook that referenced Psalm 139 which is what started my bible study. I didn't realize that the summary of my beliefs is Psalm 139! I believe God knows everything about me and had a plan before I was born and already knows what I will do and I just have to trust in God's plan. Sometimes it's hard to hand over my life knowing there is nothing I can do to change it, but that's the point of faith. God doesn't give us more than we can handle and I have to trust in that.

The other cool passage I found was actually about twins and was a summary of what we are going through right now! I never even thought about twins being in the bible, but its right there in Genesis 25: 21-24. "Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord granted his prayer, and his wife Rebekah conceived. The children struggled together within her; and she said, "If it is to be this way, why do I live?" So she went to inquire of the Lord. And the Lord said to her, "Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples born of you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the elder shall serve the younger." When her time to give birth was at hand, there were twins in her womb." I thought that was pretty amazing, not to mention I can't really tell you how I got to that story besides randomly flipping through the Bible, I guess it was meant to be!

Hope you all enjoy your weekends and God bless!

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 10th- 1 week in the hospital!

One week in the hospital down!! Last week this time we didn't think I would make the weekend without meeting these girls and here we are a week down and only 2 more days til viability! Very proud of my little fighters!

I've decided Baby B is a little bipolar! Last night I had to be on the monitors for 3 hours because they have been seeing accelerations in their heartbeats which is great, another thing they are early on, but they couldn't get them on Baby B last night. Usually they don't see the accelerations until 28 weeks but once you see them they are supposed to see them everytime. After telling the nurse you're freaking me out a little she was quick to reassure me that this was ridiculous because they are acting like normal 23/24 week old babies! So after all that drama last night and the bad reading yesterday I was nervous for the doppler ultrasound this morning... but she had the best scores she has had yet! Figures!

I also had labs done this morning, which were still good. I'm starting to look like a druggy with all the holes in my arms! I already have permanent scars from donating plasma a couple years ago I'm just hoping all these new holes don't become permanent too! :s I started another 24 hour urine collection and I'm crossing my fingers it goes well! My blood pressure has been a little high but they can still up my blood pressure medication if its hypertension. If its preeclampsia though I don't know how high they will let it go before they take my babies and I'm just not ready for that! All part of the waiting game I guess!

It's been kind of funny watching the babies on the ultrasounds and seeing Jim and I in them already! Baby A is totally built like me with her big-little belly and I don't think I was a small baby. Baby B is just a tiny little thing which Jim was an itty bitty baby since he was a preemie too. But Baby A is so chill and just lays there all quiet and is so good for the ultrasound techs which is totally Jim. Baby B is a feisty little girl though and ALWAYS moving and kicking her sister, which is totally my personality! It's just amazing to see already when they are so little and not even born yet!

Had a couple visitors again which has been amazing! I hope everyone realizes how nice it is to be connected to the outside world! Toni, Tadum and Sarah stopped by and we had some laughs! For those that don't know Sarah is Toni's friend and she is pregnant and due pretty much the same time as me. It's so crazy to see someone at the same point in the pregnancy but so different! Plus now I have a boyfriend for one of these girls! My mom came too and her and Jim went and got Davanni's for us for dinner which was a nice treat! I don't mind the hospital food at all actually, but I do love some pizza! Today my aunt and uncle stopped by and kept me company for quite awhile! Plus my cousin Mary is doing this nature thing where she is in the woods for 2 months making paths and stuff but she had this weekend off and decided to hike home for it and called while they were here! I was glad to hear the grizzlys didn't get her! I couldn't imagine but am so impressed she could go without ANYTHING for 2 months! Also my pastor called, he had wanted to stop by this week but had some things going on. I totally understand and it was nice to just chat on the phone for a little bit with him and fill him in on everything. He plans on adding us to the prayers on Sunday which I really appreciate. It's a little strange for how many years I've been praying for people from our church Sundays and to now have our name on that list, but I'm open to prayers from wherever we can get them!

I'm really proud of how strong my faith has gotten over the last week. Normally during hard times I tend to stray and forget about how important God is in my life. But the last week all I've wanted to do is pray and I've never felt so connected to God. It has brought a deep sense of peace and acceptance knowing no matter what it is in God's hands and he has a plan. All I can do is follow doctor's orders and let God do the rest. I think hearing about so many prayer chains going around for us has just magnified the power and love God has. I keep hearing about more people and churches praying for us, people I will never meet yet they think we are worth it. Its just amazing!

As always, thank you for everything and God bless!

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 9th- Backtracking

We had our doppler ultrasound this morning which Baby A passed with flying colors like normal. But Baby B's was abnormal again. There were some blank spots which means she is struggling to push the blood from the umbilical chord back into the placenta and it starts to backflow. It wasn't any worse than it has been, so wasn't a an immediate concern at least.

I had lab work done again which came back normal, but my liver functioning is just starting to go down. Another thing that wasn't an immediate concern but we will keep monitoring. I am going to start another 24 hour urine collection either this evening or tomorrow to see how my protein levels are in my urine. I'm a little concerned with I've been completely exhausted all day and spent a lot of time napping, but I am pregnant and I do only get a couple hours of sleep at night, so could be nothing.

Had a couple visitors since yesterday. Jim's Aunt Joyce and Aunt Viv stopped by for a little bit and we had a really nice chat and prayed. It was really sweet to see his family, I felt bad our dinner showed up and they left, but it was still a nice break in the day. Then later last night Amanda and Jake stopped by which was a real moodlifter for Jim I think. Its the first time I've heard him gut-busting-laughing in a couple days which was nice to hear! I think he gets pushed to the side on how difficult it is to be stuck here since he isn't the pregnant one, but he hasn't left my side for anything but to go to work and come right back. He definitely got the raw end of the deal sleeping on a plastic chair that rolls out to a nasty plastic bed! The whole time he has been so sweet and supportive and makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world everyday to have found such a great man! Then today a social worker stopped by who has been trying to get us answers for tons of things and I feel a little guilty that we put her to work so hard! Plus an intern Chaplain that was here Monday stopped by again today. I just adore her! She is the sweetest lady and both times we have had such amazing chats that last over an hour and help break up my day! I'm a little sad her internship ends next week so we didn't get long together, but she is just amazing!

Besides that it was an uneventful day. I made my first attempt at being crafty and tried to make a hat with a knitting loom thing, but I probably need some practice! Our boys at work use them all the time and when I first found out I was pregnant I ran to the store and bought every size and shape to make hats and blankets thinking I'm going to be so crafty and save us some money and how sentimental! HAHA! All the stuff has been sitting in our living room wasting space and Jim finally decided now was the time for me to get on it! I probably wouldn't try selling it obviously but I guess it could be worse!

Hope everyone else is having a good day and God bless you all!

Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

August 8th 2012- Good News!

We had a growth ultrasound today that went pretty well! The only real complication was that Baby B is still significantly smaller than Baby A. Baby A weighs 1lb. 7oz. and Baby B only weighs 14oz. The good side though is we are pretty sure there isn't Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome going on at this time at least. Their amniotic fluid levels are evening out even more today, which is fantastic! Baby B has more fluid than she has had yet, measuring at 5.1cm, a significant gain from yesterday even! Baby A's fluid level was at 6.7cm, so similar to yesterday but still great!

Both their dopplers came back normal for the day too! The longer we are here the more I'm starting to ask questions and understand some of the measurements they do... So for those that don't know, Doppler measurements measure the blood flow in their umbilical chords, an artery in their chest that is actually connected to their umbilical chord and liver, (I think, I asked 2 people and got 2 slightly different responses to that one) and an artery in their brain. The umbilical chord is to measure the blood flow from baby to placenta, the chest is checking the blood flow to their hearts and liver, and the one in the brain is to measure for anemia, and a syndrome found in twins called TOPS. (Haven't looked that one up yet, so I will get back to you later on that!)

Last but not least, as mentioned before Baby A has started breathing and is consistently getting an 8/8 on her biophysical profile, which they don't usually start looking for until 30 weeks, but today they caught Baby B breathing too! So another 8/8 perfect little girls! The Biophysical Profile measures fetal body movements, fetal tone, fetal breathing movements, and amniotic fluid level for a possible score of 2 on each, which they are getting! I feel like this just became an Olympic event they are getting judged on! lol! Can you tell what I've been watching with all my down time?!

So for now our course of action is to continue hospitalized bed rest, dopplers every morning, a couple times a week lab work to check my kidneys and liver and probably weekly 24 hour urine collections to monitor the preeclampsia. I am totally ok with all the above, I was actually nervous after our ultrasound seemed to go so well they would send me home, but I feel good being here, seeing improvements, and knowing my babies are improving. I'm scared to go home and I was glad to hear that probably isn't an option still. The perinatologist, Dr. Prosen, whom has been monitoring my care seemed very hopeful today and said she even scheduled me for another growth scan in 2 weeks, thinking there is a decent chance I could make that!! I'm ecstatic after a couple days ago we didn't even think I would make it to today!

I did have a small scare last night, but I think it was more just me overreacting, but they are monitoring all my fluid intake and output and I was very concerned I hadn't put out nearly enough after all I had put in yesterday. Then last night around 2am the nurse came in asking where my sheet was so she could get it all entered in, which totally freaked me out! So far they haven't woken me up in the middle of the night and I instantly started to panic. Then she continued to check my blood pressure and ask questions and all I could think was this would have waited til morning unless there was a problem. Well 6:30am rolls around and she comes back to do the normal morning checks and puts me on a monitor for the babies heartbeats and see if there are any contractions and leaves. (This is somewhat normal, they usually get it all hooked up and I don't see them for 45 minutes because the babies move around so much you can't get good reads on them unless they are on forever) But after an hour my regular day nurse I've started to really enjoy shows up and goes "really?! she left you on?!" got everything off me and I told her bout my concerns last night. She looked at it and reassured me it was all good. But she was so mad at the weirdo from last night! I have a couple regular nurses I enjoy but they like to throw in a mix up and they never know whats going on and its frustrating.

So that was our day! Overall very good news and we will sleep assured our prayers are still being answered! Thanks again to everyone for your thoughts and prayers, we would be nowhere without them right now!

-Lots of love- Heather, Jim, Anabell, and Isabell

The Twins Story

On March 23 2012 we went to The House on the Rock in Wisconsin to celebrate Jim's 25th birthday! We suspected I might be pregnant because for the first time in my many trips there I can officially say I have seen every bathroom in the place! We got home that Sunday March 25th and I immediately took a pregnancy test. I had taken one a week before which I thought came back negative, but I found it in the garbage with a very slight pink line and the test I took that day was a definite pregnant!! We were ECSTATIC!!! We had just made a 4+ hour drive from Wisconsin and jumped right back in the car to go tell our families!! Both our families were just as excited for us, and our journey began!....

The next day I called my clinic to set up a pregnancy test and get my prenatal care started. At that appointment we determined I was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant. We scheduled an appointment with an OB educator at the Princeton clinic who got the ball rolling. She told me what prenatal vitamins to take, and started a family history. We were very concerned with my sister Rachel having multiple problems with her 3 pregnancies and with the possibility for twins. She had me do an early gestational diabetes 1 hour test which came back elevated so I had to return for the 3 hour test which came back normal. When talking about the chance of twins I was told the 2 sets in my family don't count because they aren't in direct line with me and they didn't survive birth... But Jim's counted and it was something to keep an eye on....HAHA! After that point I got a kick out of rubbing my belly and going I dunno Jim I think I feel two! He would freak out and it turned into our little joke!

Shortly after the OB educator appointment we had our first doctors appointment. Jim sat outside during the pelvic exam and when my doctor brought him in his first question was you don't think there are two do you!??! She said she couldn't be sure but was about 90% positive there was only one, unless they were right on top of each other. We scheduled our first ultrasound for a week later to be sure their due date was accurate and off we went.

At the ultrasound the tech started with the regular ultrasound but my bladder wasn't full enough, so she decided to do an internal ultrasound. The second the image popped up on the screen she said "Just as I suspected, how do you feel about twins!?" We were totally in awe! They were SO tiny and Baby B kept spinning around and looked like she was dancing! We immediately decided she was Jim's baby because she danced JUST like him!! Baby A was kind of lazy and slept through most of it. We thought we should be 12 1/2 weeks at the ultrasound but turned out we were only 10 1/2 weeks. The whole ultrasound the tech kept saying this is good, mom isn't crying yet, and suddenly I burst into tears!! Jim was doing great, until we got in the car and he started driving and rocking back and forth. All I could think was please don't kill us and I never knew my husband had symptoms of autism! We were pretty shocked but again we raced to tell our families! We knew about a set or 2 in Jim's family but after going out to dinner we found out about a whole bunch of them! If only we knew!!

The following week I went back in to my doctor because I thought I had a bladder infection. No infection, but I told my doctor remember those 90% odds... "Yeah, we're having twins!" She started laughing and said "No way!" It was at this appointment though I knew I was in good hands, I started crying because it was pretty overwhelming and she was very reassuring telling me she actually had her own set of twin boys so she could relate and we would do great.

Around 14 1/2 weeks me and Jim went out to dinner and when we walked out of the restaurant I went "oh my, no way! I think I just peed my pants!" I was mortified and just rushed Jim to get us home. When I got home and to the bathroom my pants were soaked with blood. I immediately screamed bloody murder and started crying. Jim ran in to check on me and seen all the blood and ran out to google it! I was like um... no get me to the Emergency Room now!!! I was terrified I was miscarrying and was hysterical. When we got to the ER my blood pressure was 170/120. We had an ultrasound where they found a subchorionic hemorrhage which is basically a blood clot in my uterine lining. From there I went on bedrest for 7 weeks and started weekly doctor's appointments for my blood pressure and the bleeding. It took about 4 weeks for the bleeding to stop and I started crying everytime I had to go to the bathroom. I joined a bunch of groups on babycenter.com that did nothing but freak me out, but it gave me something to do. Everyone in the subchorionic hemorrhage group said to drink grape juice so around 3 1/2 weeks I sent Jim to the grocery store and sure enough a couple days later it cleared up! Unfortunately my blood pressure was up and down every doctor's appointment so my doctor started me on methyldoppa. Better to start something now than sit around doing nothing we decided. My doctor doesn't deliver on her own so we decided the following week we would get the other doctor involved. He wanted to start me on labetalol for my blood pressure but we were going out of town the following week and it wasn't a good time to start it.

We were really hoping to find the genders of the babies before we went to Bemidji so we could do a big gender reveal party with Jim's whole family. So we snuck in our 20 week ultrasound at 19 weeks 5 days. The whole ultrasound was a horrible experience! My doctor said to be prepared for a 1 1/2 hour appointment and after 20 minutes the lady gave up and kept saying they would send me to the cities anyways. She kept telling us we were going to have our hands full because these babies wouldn't stop moving! I thought that was a good thing, it meant they were healthy! It was a whole big disaster and for the first time in my life wrote a complaint! While we were in Bemidji I kept in contact with my doctor and she ended up getting a level 2 ultrasound scheduled in Burnsville at Fairview Ridges for us. When we got home from vacation I seen my doctor who decided to switch to the labetalol for my blood pressure and we decided I could go back to work! I went back that Tuesday, but had to take Wednesday off for the ultrasound. (I work Sunday through Wednesday.) I was ecstatic to go back to work! I missed everyone and the kids were pretty nice for once!!

The ultrasound on Wednesday had some ups and downs... The ultrasound tech was immediately able to determine 2 girls!! We were ecstatic! After a whole baseball team of nephews and only 1 niece girls were long overdue!! Plus Jim only has brothers so he needed some more girls in his life!! The appointment took about 2 hours and then we spent an hour with a perinatologist discussing the results. They were very concerned we might have Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome because Baby B was smaller than Baby A and they were pretty sure they only had one placenta to share. Treatment was difficult because they didn't have enough information. They thought they could see a membrane between the twins, but they weren't positive. If there is a membrane they are at a slightly less risk than if they shared one amniotic sack and one placenta. So the plan was to start weekly ultrasounds to gather information and determine treatment. There were a couple options... I could get sent to Cincinnati where they do a laser surgery on the placenta to even out how much nutrients they were both getting from the placenta. I was told to have an overnight bag packed around 24 weeks because they may decide to hospitalize me at any point if the babies looked distressed. The hardest part is you can't do the surgery after 26 weeks so we had to act fast in case that was what was going on. If they determined they were in one sack I would be hospitalized immediately because they were so high risk. But really all we could do was wait and get information.

So I went back to work Sunday-Wednesday where I started to question my decision at being so happy to be back!! At one point I even told everyone, I have 2 doctor's appointments this week between the 2 someone will put me back on bedrest and outa this place! I had my regular doctor's appointment on Wednesday where I was determined to ask to go back on bedrest, but once I was there I realized I really didn't want to, it was nice to get out of the apartment and interact with humans! But we ended up upping my dosage of labatalol because my blood pressure was still slightly elevated.

Then this last Friday I had my second level 2 ultrasound and ate my words from work... I went to bed with a bad feeling because Jim wasn't able to go with me and I was scared to go alone. The next morning I ended up calling my mom and asking her to call in and come with me. Thank God she did, because I needed someone there. We waited over an hour because they were having lots of problems that morning with patients but my ultrasound ended up fairly quick. Turned out they were just doing dopplers, to check the blood flow in their brains, hearts, tummies, and umbilical chords. But Baby B was having problems returning blood to the placenta. The perinatologist was unsure what our plan should be, but decided to check my blood pressure because it's possible the problem was not from Twin to Twin Transfusion but could actually be from me having preeclampsia. Especially because Twin A's umbilical chord goes into the placenta fairly centralized but Baby B's umbilical chord is on the side and not as good a connection. Well after all the good news, and being I have to take my blood pressure medication with food or it upsets my tummy and the appointment ran so far behind/late I hadn't taken it yet, obviously it was elevated. So they sent me to The University of Minnesota Amplatz Children's Hospital. Friday they did a 24 hour urine collection to test for protein in my urine, a symptom of preeclampsia. The preeclampsia range is 0.3-5.0 and mine came back at 0.5, so barely elevated, but enough to determine I won't be leaving anytime soon! They started daily ultrasounds to monitor how Baby B is doing which was about the same Saturday morning. Sunday morning they decided to retest me for gestational diabetes. 1 of the blood draws came back slightly elevated but not enough to diagnose me with gestational diabetes. But they are pretty sure if I stay pregnant long enough I will end up with it. They decided to start me on steroid shots just in case, to help their lungs develop so I had my first shot Sunday and the last one Monday. Then yesterday they did some more labs to be sure my kidneys and liver are still functioning. They all came back normal! Plus during the ultrasound they caught Baby A breathing, which they don't usually catch until 30+ weeks! Plus their dopplers were starting to look better!

Last night a nurse from the NICU came and talked to us. I appreciated she was very blunt with us, but it was so scary! She said this early we only have a 50% chance of only 1 baby surviving, and of that 50% chance only a 25% chance of ending up with a healthy normal baby/child/teenager/adult. We were able to ask lots of questions though and she brought us on a tour of the NICU. I thought I had been to plenty before because of my sister's boys plus my niece but I don't remember ever seeing one that big! They can hold 50 babies, and are currently at 46. That got me a little nervous too because I know there is a mom next door to me with triplets, so between us we have 5 kids where there is only room fro 4! But they reassured me they would be transferred to St. Paul Children's Hospital and would still receive the best of care. We were able to see a baby that is now 28 weeks but was born at 24 and he was so small still it broke my heart. I am only 23 weeks 2 days and technically babies aren't viable until 24 weeks so our first goal is to get me to Sunday when we hit viability day. Then we are just going to take it week by week, I'm determined to keep these babies inside as long as I can so they can have the best chance we can give them at this point.

Today I was sent down to the clinic to do my ultrasound versus doing it in my room, which was a nice break from my room I haven't left since Friday! It was very exciting actually because one sign of Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome is for one baby's amniotic sack to be over 8ml (I think its ml, sorry!) and the other twin has to be under 2ml. The last couple days baby B has been barely over 2 and baby A has been at 7 1/2, then 6 1/2. Well today Baby A was around 5 1/2ml and Baby B made it over 3ml!! Very good signs! Plus they were able to see Baby A breathing again and according to my ultrasound tech yesterday depends who you ask if they caught Baby B breathing. She said she has been to conferences where doctors get in each others face's over whether hiccups should count as breathing or not, and Baby B had the hiccups this morning! But 2 of Baby B's dopplers were a little high, but overall the doctor considered us stable today! So one more day under our belts!! Our baby girls are such strong little fighters, and all we can do is hope and pray. I have been astounded by the amount of people I have heard are praying for us, and judging by the good news we keep getting day by day I have to believe they are working! We are still on a slippery slope, but hanging in there and odds are I will be here until they do deliver which hopefully will be at least a couple months yet, but for now its still week by week. I will try to post daily the news we get and fill everyone in. In return I just ask for the continuous love, support, and many many prayers! That alone is more than we can ask for and we are so grateful for all of it!


-Love- Heather, Jim, Anabell and Isabell